A HUGE and HEARTFELT congratulations to our very own Clinical Coordinator, Gail Starr!! She was recognized by Albuquerque the Magazine as being on of the best providers in the city, and was celebrated as 2021's "Top-Notch Nurse"! We are honored and happy to have Gail as one of our SANEs, and are incredibly grateful to have had her as our Clinical Coordinator since 2013.

We meant every word of her nomination, and couldn't think of a more deserving person at our clinic. She has tirelessly dedicated over 15yrs of her life to ABQ SANE, and has served countless victims of violence in our city.

Another round of applause for Gail! WE LOVE YOU!

Albuquerque Sexual Assault Awareness Month (#ABQSAAM2021) has officially begun! Today, on April 5th 2021, Albuquerque City Council will be signing an official Proclamation for Sexual Assault Awareness Month. The University of New Mexico Health Sciences Campus will also begin displaying a SAAM banner over their footbridge the UNM Hospital, located near North Campus. The banner will be visible over Lomas Street, and will be on display thru the end of the month.

Sexual Assault Awareness Month is a National campaign designed to raise public awareness about sexual assault, as well as educate communities about its impact and prevention. It was created in 2001 by the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, and is currently in its 20th year. As healthcare providers for the survivors of Albuquerque, we couldn't be happier to have a city so united in its efforts against sexual violence. We are excited to participate in #ABQSAAM2021, and are honored to be backed by a community that supports our patients unconditionally. Thank you UNMHSC and ABQ City Council!

On March 31st, and every other day of the calendar year, Albuquerque SANE stands with the transgender people of New Mexico. We respect you, care about you, and we’re here for you — no matter the circumstances.

Our transgender patients are entitled to receiving quality healthcare after sexual assault, and we firmly believe that they deserve to be treated with dignity, understanding, and culturally-sensitive services. We understand that while there is no monolith on how to be trans or nonbinary, every single transgender person is deserving of commemoration for their courage today and every day. We celebrate the increasing visibility and diversity of all LGBTQIA people, and we love our trans patients. It is an honor to serve you!

April is right around the corner, and we're both proud and excited to celebrate Sexual Assault Awareness Month! A comprehensive list of activities planned for April is to follow soon...

Halloween is officially tomorrow! How do you plan on celebrating it? Hopefully your answer doesn't include an insensitive costume or predatory behavior.

From rape culture to cultural appropriation and even Blackface, dressing up in costume often gives people a false sense of permission to do outrageous things. The anonymity of wearing a costume on October 31st gives you the ability to completely change your day-to-day identity, and makes it easy to feel like you have an alter ego... but that doesn't make it okay. In fact, blatantly racist costumes that dehumanize people are never okay. Violating someone's consent just because they're wearing a "revealing" costume is never okay.

People in face paint darker than their natural skin tone, women wearing war bonnets and moccasins, men saying that "she asked for it" just because her skirt is short: none of it is okay. This Halloween, recognize that celebrating a holiday doesn't give you permission to be problematic. 

October is quickly approaching! For many of our Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners and staff, Halloween is their favorite holiday. Ironically enough, it's also the holiday that marks the end of October, which is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

In 2019 alone, we served 171 victims of domestic violence in Albuquerque. Many of the patients who came to see us were also parents whose children had witnessed the violence. After the restraining order was granted, the forensic evidence collected, and the exam completed, many of those patients still had numerous questions lingering in their mind: how do I make sure my child is going to be okay? How do I make them feel safe again? What am I going to do about Halloween?

For many victims, these questions not only revolve around re-establishing their child's safety, but also recreating a sense of normalcy for them. Whether this was dropping them off at school or even relocating to a safer place, topics like the holidays often cause a headache for victims, particularly this holiday. With all of Halloween's crowded streets, costumes, and strangers in masks, trick-or-treating with children can seem like a daunting task. Not only does the holiday present what can seem like a "logistical nightmare" for people trying to stay hidden from their abuser, but it also forces many to feel like they are depriving their child of a fun holiday activity should they chose not to leave the house. On one hand, victims want to protect their children against possible retaliation from their abuser; but on the other, they don't want to sacrifice what they feel is an integral part  of their childhood.

Well, ABQ SANE is here to say that both are possible! And that trick-or-treating with your child after surviving domestic violence shouldn't be a predicament. Halloween safety for our patients is an utmost priority, and we have put together a handy guide for anyone considering trick-or-treating with their children. Empowering our patients after their assault is not only one of our core missions, but it is also a duty that we don't take lightly. It was an honor to put together this guide, and from us to you, we wish you a safe Halloween.

When I was 15, I got into punk music. When I was the same age, I also had my first run-in with being sexually harassed in public. A strange man on the bus decided that it was a good idea to try to put his hand on my thigh, and I had wanted to kick his goddamn teeth in. I remember that I was listening to the Dead Kennedys when that incident happened, and the more uncomfortable I became sitting next to that man, the more I turned up the volume. The aggression of the music felt like wrapping myself in armor – and it comforted me when nothing else in that moment could.

But don’t get me wrong. I’m the farthest thing from a hardened punk. I’m shy, introverted, and cry easily at otter videos. I like having my hair stroked and apologize way too much. So why do I like punk music? Well, I guess what first attracted me to was the power I felt while listening to it; I felt untouchable each time I had my earphones blasting The Sex Pistols, and the music made me temporarily forget how I looked.

Self-confidence, and feeling powerful in my body, was always something that I’ve struggled with. I was molested as a child, and grew up with body dysmorphic disorder and other nasty things as a result, like Depression and PTSD. I never truly felt comfortable with my body, and feeling safe in it was an unheard of thing; so I shrank myself down as much as I could while growing up. I surrounded myself with toxic friendships because being submissive felt comfortable, and if you look at any of my family photos, you’d see a deeply sad child looking back at you. It was only years later, after I finally told someone what happened to me, that I realized how much body dysmorphia that I had been living with while undiagnosed.

For many years, I refused to have my photo taken, dressed in dark clothing three sizes too big, avoided the beach so no one would see me in a swimsuit, and constantly begged for reassurance... even if I didn’t believe the compliments that people told me. I walked with bad posture to make myself seem smaller, and as a teenager I once burst into tears after seeing myself in the mirror because I hated the girl in the reflection. I repulsed myself. There’s simply no better way to describe it. My self-esteem was cripplingly low, and I desperately wanted to be someone else: if I had the option of disappearing into the wall, I would’ve gladly taken it. For many years it was like there was a massive, neon sign above my head that constantly dictated how I should feel about myself...

and the sign read: “MY COUSIN RUINED MY BODY SO DON’T LOOK AT ME”.

I wholeheartedly believed that lie for most of my life, and it was only years later when my therapist told me that my body dysmorphia was linked to my assault that I gained clarity. Hearing those words was like pulling the sword from the stone, and from then on it all made sense. I had been hurt as a child by someone I trusted, and the only way I knew how to protect myself at the time was to hurt myself even more. Hating my body was the ultimate “protection”. No one could violate me if I violated myself worse. If I despised the way I looked, and constantly hated myself, then I was safe... that's what my brain had learned after being assaulted. I tricked myself into thinking that I would be safe from another assault if I tore my own body apart, and had been unknowingly internalizing my trauma for years.

I started getting into punk music when my self-confidence was at its lowest. It was uplifting to me when I heard the thrash of guitars and people screaming into microphones. Now they are powerful, I would think to myself. They stand up for what they believe in and take no shit. I looked up to all of the women with greasy hair and smeared eyeliner who sang about castrating their abusers. They didn’t care if people saw their cuts or their cellulite or their ripped fishnets, and would've stomped any man who dared to catcall them.

I was attracted to how unapologetic they were for being themselves: they didn’t apologize for existing like I constantly did. A lot of them had experienced sexual harassment, or assault, and weren't afraid to write songs about it. They were comfortable in their bodies. The punk community was inclusive, and welcomed everyone to release their frustrations. I became infatuated with the sense of fashion, the anti-racism, the ideologies, and the remorseless way that true punks kicked Nazi "punks" and skinheads to the curb. At age 15, I started listening to punk music while struggling to keep my head above water. When I was 20, I finally told someone about what happened to me as a child after hearing the song "Don't Tell Me What To Do" by Cerebral Ballzy. (yes, that's their real name.)

Today, at age 24, I take medication every day, go to therapy, and am no longer afraid to share my story - and with 100% certainty I can say that punk music was critical for any of those things to happen.

As I write this, I’m still learning how to be myself and not apologize for it. Kathleen Hanna is singing over my computer speakers and the sun is shining outside. It's springtime. The weather is gorgeous. I’m learning how to heal, and the work is hard, but that's okay. On days when loving myself seems impossible, I listen to punk music as loudly as I can. And on days when it feels easy, I make playlists of songs that helped me so others can listen to them, too.

Readings:
www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/blog/sexual-assault-and-body-image-hope-healing-and-3-common-myths
www.eatingdisorderhope.com/blog/examining-body-dysmorphia-ptsd